The expandables

The Expendables is an absolute epic film that rivals Die hard for action, cop out for comedy and even how to train your dragon for pure EPICNESS. From the 30 second Schwarzenegger cameo to the AA-12 explosive massacre, this movie had awesome written all over it, in Bold, and capitals... with explosions. Stallone played the part of Barney Ross pretty well, and by that i mean BADASS. EEEEEXPLOSIONS.
The only bad thing i can find in this truly epic masterpeice is that Mickey Rourke can finish a tattoo in less than 3 seconds.. Whilst talking. Amazing.

9.5/10 because moar.

//terminated

How to make love to a ma...-cough-...woman -cough-

Another adult comedy, and by adult I mean it's rated 15! Well I must say the first about 20 minutes are pretty boring but after that it actually starts to get funny! Almost all of the jokes are aimed at a very large audience and because of this it totally throws innuendo out the window and goes for the in your face kind of comedy that people actually like! Finally, movie makers that understand that innuendo died out about 40 years ago!
Well, this was a rom-com so it didn't just have comedy! It had 'romance'... Basically there was lots of sex scenes and they had this little talk at one point where they said they loved each other... and then they had sex...
Well I was looking for a decent comedy and this movie certainly didn't disappoint me! I've got to say however, I had never heard of any of the actors who played parts in it...

7/10! 'nuff said..

Speed Racer

I refute thee
Devil o' ye film.
If ye tried to make thee motorized vehicles any lesse reallistic
You mayhap of simply used olde cardboard cuttouts.
2/10

The Great White Buffallo...

I watched Hot tub time machine, only because of the annoying tumor of a brother fate has dropped into my otherwise blissful abyss reminding me every 5 seconds!.. But apart from that the film was really quite enjoyable and was genuinely funny, a trait that most modern comedies seem to be missing, a major flaw in the genre there. Not so much an original idea, the story was just back to the future meets The Hangover, and in the land of comedy spoofs are starting to clog up the once loved heavenly motorway of laughter. I loved the characters and actors, all apart from probably the main character (or at least who I see as the main character), Adam, played by John Cusack. Who I'm sure that nobody has ever heard of right? Or is that just me?..
All in all though it's really not much different form other movies in the genre. Ridiculous amount of sexual references and.. well... not much else. To be honest, most of the jokes in this movie are just things about sex. It's not on it's own though, about 90% of movies int he comedy genre rely heavily on sex jokes. Unless it's a 'hit teen comedy' and well in that case it just isn't funny...
Wandering back from the deluded and misshapen path of comedy, I'll be generous and give this one a nice round 8.47/10 :)

District 18

District 9 is a fantastic movie in my opinion. I'm really into the sci-fi genre and was excited to hear another movie about aliens was being released, not just for the alien side but mostly because the realistic way they have portrayed the aliens and the more realistic way they have shown the human attitudes towards these people from another world if you like. The CGI was really quite great, brilliant, brilliant animation and graphics. Well played by the actors, and you actually got into the story in this movie, you actually give a damn as to what happens to the characters. That is apart from the main character, I thought he was a bit of an annoying fellow. However, you really do get a feel for these character's backgrounds and especially feel sorry for the aliens and how they are treated. I think that there wasn't enough alien weaponry, they only showcased about three kinds of it, the classic machine gun , the zappy laser one that made people explode and the one that lets off sonic waves to knock your enemies into next week.

Anyway, twas a very entertaining movie and I loved the way the movie left you wanting more, not quite giving away the ending but dropping little hints, mayhap a sequel is in order? 9/10 in all. Highly recommend it!

Gamer

Sorry couldn't think of a snappy title for this one. Well the movie is gamer of course and I really don't have much to say about it. I watched the trailers and thought it looked like a good movie with plenty of action that shows the true face of what happens in real wars and gun-fights while still underlining the fact that it's only a game to the people in command, when in reality, very little of the movie is based in the 'game' in question (Slayers) and you actually see more of the other game 'Society' in which people basically sell themselves for a set period of time and they have no idea whats going on and can't control themselves. So to sum it up, the trailers are very misleading, the story doesn't seem too bad and might make an actually decent film with some slight tweaks but is mostly just about him escaping and trying to convince people of his innocence about the murder of his friend, oh no it get's more complex, in the mean time he must fight other players controlled by people all around the world. He's is controlled by some apparently elite mlg kid that he manages to eventually talk to. It's far too complex and not much happens. Actually I did have alot to say about this one...
6/10. The action scenes were really quite entertaining to watch and the whole concept was quite fun to have as a movie. However, the quest for his daughter (that doesn't love him) and his wife really toned the movie down.

The Winners!

Movie of the day today was The Losers, a movie about a renegade team of soldiers (Kind of like Bad Company). It has my second favorite genre, an action/comedy hybrid that lets the story get told without over thinking it or stretching out the action scenes to fill space, which I feel would have been boring. Lot's of stuff going on at times and I really kind of lost the plot half way through and couldn't tell who was good and who was bad. If they toned down the amount of times people double-crossed each other then I think it would be easier to understand and mayhap attract a wider audience. Besides this the movie was actually really good. I loved the batman style gadgets they use, grappling guns and the likes.
The characters weren't relate able in the slightest, but that's what made them so cool! 'Cougar' of course being all mysterious makes him the most interesting character. In terms of the actors I feel that they were well picked and suited the roles, hardened men that actually look like they might have been in the army. Unlike Chris Hemsworth, who I hear is playing Thor in the upcoming Marvel production, being released next year.
I feel this review is getting off track, 9/10 in all because pretty explosions and sniper rifles being used professionally is entertaining.

A Short Poem

From dry wall to dry wall,
Ceiling to floor,
this is my cage,
My cell,
My bore.

Simple and small,
Almost alone,
Curled up in a ball,
In the place I called home.

From dry wall to dry wall,
Ceiling to floor,
This is my cage,
My cell,
My bore.
If only I could remember..
How to use a door..

Darren Shananananana

Darren Shan is the author of two brilliant series of books. The Cirque du Freak and The Demonata. Cirque du freak is being made into a series of movies. The first, the vampire's assistant is obviously the first I watched. I absolutely loved all the Darren Shan book's, both series, and was really excited for the movie. However, it was kind of a let down. Nothing much happened in the first two books in the first place but them being stuck into one movie made it feel like even less happened, speaking of which, the movie just barely followed the books anyway. None of the characters really followed the original descriptions from the books. Having said that I think the actors suited the parts given, all except for Mr. Crepsley, played by John C.Reilly, not a good choice me thinks.
All in all I give it 7/10 just because it's a classic story and I loved the books so much.

123456789... 10?

G'day to ya. Watched the movie 9 yesterday, good movie. Good animation, detailed and somewhat realistic if that's what you look for in a movie. Not me, I look for wholesome family entertainment. Well that's exactly what I found in this movie. It had something for everyone, a clear moral message, a little bit of romance and best of all, some 'splosions. Big fan of science fiction but this looked more like voodoo than science, odd symbols and tractor beams sucking your soul away. So really, not actually that realistic at all :/. I liked how they were made from cloth and looked like sack men. However, not much really happened in the film, about half way through the same things kept on repeating but in different places. Machine attacks, they run, rinse and repeat until they finally kill it, and even then they don't bring the dead sack people back, they just set them free. Where do they go?!
Anyway, 8/10. Forgetting the bad points, this is actually a really great movie.

Yes Master...

Just watched iGor, the hit new animation from momentum pictures! It's actually two years old... Well the movie wasn't all that good to be honest. The comedy was lacking something... what was it? Oh yeah, Humor. I really only suggest you watch this if you are a small child or have some sort of mental deficiency leading you to believe that this movie was worth the money... unless you watch it online... Not that I advocate piracy.
Point is it's a pretty poor film. The animation wasn't all that good either. There was no detail at all, which I guess was intentional since it's for the younger audiences but hey, look at Spongebob! That's a kids cartoon and that has detail! Again, It's okay for kids but if you look deeper into it, from an age like mine, you see he has created his own wife. That's kinda sad.
6/10 anyway, because, though it may have been lacking in most departments it certainly holds some family entertainment values.

Iron 2 Man!

Watched Iron Man 2 in cinemas last Saturday, have to say, it was pretty damn sweet! Followed on really nicely to the first and had a really interesting story. It had great humor that fit in well with the characters and at the same time didn't interfere with the serious side of the movie. The battle scenes are visually spectacular and fun to watch and the movie has large replay value, mostly because of the fight scenes. If you watch all the credits there is an extra scene at the end, what appears to be some sort of excavation or crater, and nearby is... Mjolnir, the legendary hammer of Thor, this is of course a little teaser for the Thor movie that I hope will be out shortly, expect a review!
We're going off track, back to Iron man. Great movie, would definitely watch it again, 8.5/10. Maybe wouldn't pay to watch it again :/

Up, up and... oh we haven't went anywhere...

UP! That's the name of the movie on today's agenda. Right at the beginning of the movie somebody dies, great way to start eh? Nah, I found the movie to be actually quite good which didn't really surprise me, I have a high expectation for any animated movie after watching How to train your Dragon. Detailed, high quality animation, great story of a man on a mission and something that people of any age can enjoy. Anything I missed out? Hmm... Anywho, I rate it 8/10. Go Pixar.

Whoop-Ass

Guess what? I watched Kick-Ass! Huzza! Yes that's right, the newest of Marvel's comic-based movies. As a fan of the comics, I have to say it was really quite awesome, to put it crudely. The movie followed the comic really closely, even down to the position of the bodies. It was a really funny and managed to mix the comedy into the serious plot that made an absolutely brilliant movie. Bit of a short reveiw today, not much to say. Great acting and brilliant story makes for an excellent movie, 8.5/10. Good Job Marvel!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Pokemon!

Oh my gosh! That's right, I got the new Pokèmon! But which one you may be wondering, Heart Gold or Soul Silver?! To answer that question I say... Both :D! Well not exactly, I bought Gold and my brother bought silver. Any-who, I think they're absolutely great! I actually have the original for Gameboy color, in fact, the only Pokèmon games i haven't bought int he past are yellow, red, blue and platinum. Nintendo have taken probably their best games so far and revamped them, improved graphics, all the features of the newer Pokèmon games, the old-school kind of Team Rocket story and... a 'Pokèwalker'! Yeah the all new Pokèwalker that let's you take your Pokèmon for a stroll. Sounds like another piece of lame merchandise used to try and sell the game better but to be honest I actually enjoy using it. I don't know what it is about walking with my Pokèmon that just makes me happy :).
Exluding the Pokèwalker, the actual game was a brilliant, brilliant rebirth for the classic original and I award Pokemon Heart Gold and Pokemon Soul Silver with a whopping 8.5/10, even though they did make Lugia a flying-psychic when everybody knows it's the king of the ocean so it should be flying-water! >:(

I know how to train my Dragon :D

Just watched How to train your Dragon and I've got to say, I absolutely loved it! Brilliant movie! It looked incredible, a real treat to the eyes and the story really worked as a movie. Typical story of a boy, not very good at much, but in this he goes on to find and tame a dragon, Ooh. I don't know what it is about this movie but I just absolutely loved it and it is undoubtedly my favorite movie of all time!
Really worth watching! No hesitation, 10/10!
So hope there is a sequel :D

TWDarklord?

My friend TWDarklord is blogging now so after you've finished reading my highly interesting and intellectually outstanding posts, you should check his blog out! http://twdarklord.blogspot.com/

No $#*% Sherlock

Sherlock Holmes is today's movie and what a movie it is! This really surprised me. I thought it was a shoddy interpretation of the original that I loved but instead it delivered a classic Sherlock Holmes adventure with a more engaging and twisting plot.
But it wasn't all about detective works, oh no. Some of the most engaging parts of the story were the fight scenes. Cleverly working in his detective skills too at times, like in the slow motion scenes. Another plus, special effects! Yes for the first time in Sherlock Holmes time on our screens we get to see explosions that further adds to this up to date feeling that I feel will finally attract the younger generation to the legacy that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle started back in 1887.
It's come a long way and I award Holmes with a 9/10. This is up there with my top three.

Down the rabbit hole

Alice in Wonderland is an interesting movie to say the least. The CGI was hardly Avatar standards but it was still fun to watch.
The story of course based on the Novel 'Alice's adventures in Wonderland' by Lewis Carrol but this time the 'Wonderland' is going through a bad phase and only Alice can save everyone. A very enjoyable take on the original. I think that the Mad Hatter was very well played but Alice was not. She was far, far too accepting of everything going on around her.
It's a good movie and a fun twist to the original but bad acting, 7.5/10.

Lemon Demon!

Lemon Demon is definitely my favorite band. Their genre is Alternative. Never heard of them? They are most well known for 'The ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny'. If you still don't know who they are then here's some links to my favorite songs.
Ultimate showdown - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WgT9gy4zQA
Fine - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ya_HFbrUTYs
Word Disassociation - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3sUnJVqoO0&feature=related
Eight Wonder - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyzQ-ZFSQic
It was founded by Neil Cicierega.
Just thought I'd share these guys awesome music with you.

Shutters, Blinds, Curtains, Islands.

Shutter Island. A brief synopsis; a U.S Marshall, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, goes to an Institute for the criminally insane that is based on Shutter island to try and locate an escaped patient.
The story is based on the novel by Dennis Lehane and is honestly quite a gripping one. The movie strays from the in-your-face kind of horror that most other movies in it's genre tend to do and instead goes for a more subtle approach, slowly adding to the mystery of what is going on.
DiCaprio played the role of the delusional Marshall well and the acting for all the cast was actually quite brilliant. Ben Kingsley was very well suited for his part and I enjoyed watching him play it.
An excellent movie, not quite 9, I give it 8.5/10.

Funneh People

Funny People, not what I expected from looking at the title or from watching the trailer. A comedian being diagnosed with Leukemia? Not really a good idea for a movie if you ask me. Not sure if this is intentional but the guy Adam Sandler plays is about as funny as my dog.
The comedy was lacking, a lot. The only funny parts in the entire movie were when Ira did stand up. This was more of a Drama/Romance about a comedian than a Comedy/Drama. There really isn't much to review for this film, only that It's comedy was bad and nothing really happened in the story.
Just because I got a few laughs from the stand up scenes I'll give this one 5/10. Unless you have absolutely nothing to do, I don't recommend watching this, especially if you have to pay more than £5 to do so.

Boredom of the Dead

Survival of the Dead... this movie bored me so much! I honestly cannot review it because i got about 30 minutes in and had to turn it off because it was so god damn boring!
The 'zombies' were terribly played and the effects looked cheaper than those on give me back my spleen! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12ft2lYRUAE
Terrible film 2/10

Avatard?!

So i watched Avatar like three weeks ago and with all the hype finally dying down I thought I'd better review it before it starts getting old.
The Visuals where quite spectacular really, breathtaking scenery, massive dragon-bird things, tall blue men. But I'm not really sure how they managed to spend $30,000,000 on it. In all seriousness they should have just went to and filmed it in a rain forest or something like that, the amazon maybe? Nah it does look really good though and I can see why James Cameron was so proud of it, especially the fighting scene between the Humans and Na'avi.
So it looks good, but so does an explosion, and without a reason behind the explosion its pointless. And that means we need a good story! Okay, the story in Avatar is good. That's all i can say really. All in all the movie's just a remake of Pocahontas with a disabled guy that gets some sort of beefed up CAT scan and turns blue!
Epic visuals and a good story, makes for a great movie. It gets 9/10 from me, Definitely worth watching.